A Sugar-Coated Suicide Note of an Angry Teenager

Clinically dead for about six thousand seven hundred days,

   the world keeps revolving, swiftly moving without me

My body is caged; blood drained and emptied from my system

   my soul is trapped; I am a witness of this sheer catastrophe.

Slowly, the ground disintegrates as the Earth gives birth to cataclysm,

   Violent air screaming, ever-beating through the broken windows

A grain of thunder softly tapping over the wrecked rooftop

   Teardrops ravishingly pour down from the bloodshot heaven of grieving and sorrow

Like inflated ball, curled up in the corner of this dark room,

   gently rocking back and forth, cradling and protecting myself from all the gloom

With an old pen and a piece of lonely paper in my bruised hands,

   the secret life of a giant fraud, the truth, I am holding on to stand.

Tracing patterns, searching for congruity of words and thoughts,

   my calloused fingers linger, uncertain between breaking down or holding on to the line

the clock ticks, reality is like a painless continuing punch in the gut

   The walls are pressing closer; my pride, fancy letters and an imaginary world is all I got.

Somewhere between these lines I watch myself stop and cry,

   my ethereal form hovers above me; lifts a hand with the illusion of plain recognition

I am not a coward; willing to face the ultimate demise of innocence

   I am not about to give up; the one who starts the journey, the one who will make it end.

It is prim and proper to call upon the people who once taught me to be strong

   The loud mumbling of the wicked night, and the soft strike of the morning sun; they are all wrong

For everything I have done, there is a magnanimous price

   Farewell, my friends, this is hoe I end; eager enough to cut my own life line.

I made this when I got up this morning. Words kept playing around the atmosphere and I thought it's time to clear my mind. I would like to tell you that I am not encouraging suicide attempts to anyone, specifically to the youth today. Teenage suicide has been a problem not just in our country but to the world nowadays. There is a need for everyone to give just enough attention to this social issue, especially to those parents who are not aware of the emotional degradation their children suffer. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming the parents with all the problems that their children are facing but somehow, they are one of the million factors.

YOUNG ADULT NOVELS (2012)

Here's the list of my favorite Young Adult Novels that I've read this year. This list contains books from a variety of genre (Romance, Dystopian, Paranormal, Contemporary and even Thriller)

I probably should post the summary of each but it's I'm up for a little interaction. I have the link on each book below the coverphoto so you could check out the plot.

1. INSURGENT (Divergent 2) by Veronica Roth

Click for more info

2. HALO (1,2 and 3) by Alexandra Adornetto

Click for more info

3. THE FALLEN SERIES by Lauren Kate

Click for more info

4. UNDER THE NEVER SKY by Veronica Rossi

Click here for more info

5. THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green

Click here for more info

6. FRACTURE by Megan Miranda

Click here for more info

7. TEN THINGS WE DID AND PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE by Sarah Mlynowski

Click for more info

8. EVERY DAY by David Levithan

click here

9. DREAMLESS (Star-crossed 2) by Josephine Angelini

click here

10. THE HOST by Stephenie Meyer

click here for more info

Well, I'll keep you posted with good books. Currently, I purchased e-books copy of Finale (Hush hush 4) and Heaven (Halo 3). I must take a dose of Patch Cipriano and Xavier Woods before O head back to blogging. 

---A.

Leave your comment below if you want to recommend books to the readers. :) Visit my tumblr page! Tumblr baby!

Sunday (Blocked)

Shared Moments With My Star FM Family

These are the people I love to hang out with. I've grown to love them during my Internship. I probably will miss their company. :)

INTERNSHIP @STAR FM

They say that when you are in the last year of your college life, you won’t have to do anything at all except for the haunted days of thesis writing. That idea might be true to certain extent but  found out that our Internship for this semester has been changed from one hundred fifty hours of internship to two hundred hours of free service and tons of learning.

            The news has been a shock to most of us, especially for those who are working part time. After hearing the news, my friends and I hurriedly fired off our internet connection and searched for radio stations along Metro Manila for our internship for radio. We went to several stations such as; DZRH at MBC Compound, Radyo Filipino in Intramuros and Bombo Radyo in Makati. Since the internship slots at MBC was already full, we kept hoping for the other two stations to accommodate us. Luckily, on the next day, Bombo Radyo had called us to report immediately. And that began our internship for radio this semester.

            I started my training on June 27, 2012. It was a great start for me since the station accommodated twelve interns this year and all of them were from my section. When I said “all”, I meant all of us. We came from the same section, different circles though. Still, we have made a smooth working relationship, created a strong bond, and a lasting friendship inside the station. I spent my two hundred hours of internship at DWSM 102.7 Star FM. This is where the admin brought us. In the first week of our training in the said station, we were like foreigners transported in a different country, maybe even planet. The office is not that big, just about double the size of a standard classroom at COC. I was at first, surprised by the environment but the place is decent enough to be called office. It has all the equipment needed for a standard radio station, since the main office of Bombo Radyo is in Makati.

            Throughout my internship, I have learned so much from the Disc Jockeys and the staff who are already in the industry. Working with the people in the media industry, I developed my traits and even improved my bad habits, like being late and the universal word for laziness, “procrastination.” My days began a little too slow until I harrumphed all the way to the station.  Taking deep breaths and screwing my head, I dragged myself to get through the day. I almost made a monument for myself for ditching my bad habits away. That is one of the hundred lessons I learned during my internship period at Star FM. I don’t mean to brag but working with other people had changed me. I learned to participate in every way I thought I never would. I experienced living a life of a media practitioner in that short span of time. Thirty days. Those days of my training at Star FM will be treasured for the rest of my days. Having my training there is like taking my first step as toddler.

            Every day, I listed down reminders and things that I should do for the entire day. My checklist went something like this;

            RAIN CHECK

ü  WEAR A SMILE

ü  IGNORE PMS

ü  HELP OTHERS

ü  LAUGH A LOT

ü  BRING BOOK

ü  KILL BOREDOM

ü  MAKE MYSELF USEFUL

ü  STAY HAPPY

            My days went by, I was growing to love the people at the station, beginning to feel at home with the staff as my family, and liking the atmosphere brought by the difference of the air inside the station. The smell of the boxes, the clicking sound of computer keyboard, and the laughter of people from every corner of the room started to make my day. My life wouldn’t be complete without the yelling, shouting, singing and the screams of happiness I only experienced with the people I used to love. I surely will miss this routine of mine. Of course, I learned how to be like them when I was having my intern at the station. They taught me how to use the console at the DJ’s booth, to use the other equipment in the recording studio and applied the writing prowess I learned in school.

            The best thing about experiencing those things, I have grown as an individual. I know now what path of career I should take. There is no doubt that I like to be part of the media industry, whether print or broadcasting. I really want to have a great changing impact and to influence the next generation of broadcasters and journalists. For now, I am willing to learn and to strive with the help and assistance of the experienced people in the industry. 

            Once I figure out what I really want to do, (for real) I will climb the mountain top and shout at the top of my lungs. I will fly. 

            God Bless us all!

UPSIDE DOWN OFFICIAL TRAILER

UPSIDE DOWN - Official Trailer (VO BIL)



I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower and found the poster of this movie. I can say that I am intrigued and hurriedly went home to watch the trailer. Damn, I like this.

Sinking

For the words are unspoken; hidden like the treacherous viper in the verdant field

Heated like the giant ball of gas dawdling the vast bleak sky

In time being, patterns of grief and sorrow are there to yield,

The blood lust, greed, vices, mundane things; I am damned to die.

Buried neck-deep; breathing is intransigent, unmanageable, everything is suffocating

In the arms of darkness, carry me to my own grave, cease the hurting

The appalling voices mumble hollow tunes of elegy, screams of pain and tribulation,

Eyes blinded by a mysterious cloak, the army of death embarks the invocation.

The floodgates are broken, tears pouring out, fears creeping to the bones

Got a pocketful of empty, these scars are inconstant resplendent weapon

Chant of grim has begun, the rhapsodic rhythm calls for holocaust,

Both hands tied, I drop to my knees, begging for salvation, no matter what it costs.

I hit the bottomless pit, once, twice; extend my wings but afraid to fly

The Finale starts, painting conclusions, decaying my soul until I cry

Faith is broken, door to Heaven is locked; mislead, I can't see the light,

I am waiting, weeping and hoping; Save me, I need you tonight.

Into the Dark

If a book's treasured page worth a single cent

And the leaves of the autumn trees are wildly innocent,

The spirit lies six enormous feet below the ground

These dreams of thousand days are legibly hell bound.

Water flows like the holy river somewhere in the dark

Splashing and curling, running and galloping, sweeping in lark,

Stoicism settles, spreading like a plague in the empty room

Afraid, roses shatter, Dark Prince cowers, shifting through the gloom.

Eyes blurring, the poor bud sprawls in iridescent dimension

Wilted, withered, even before the germane of becoming burgeon,

Long hours of lingering and traveling like a lost little lamb

Song of the dead, solemn, gravely alluring, ears covered, block the hum.

Stop trying, just trail the sorcerer's ignominious secrets and wonders

Close the eyes, obstruct the heart; it's time for rest and slumber'

Cut the right hand, sheathe the skin, bare the naked soul

Into the dark, scream, drift away, forget the world and fall.